I like stress. Not in an adrenaline junkie kind of way, but in a way that I know stress is a friend. In fact, stress is exactly what you would want in one of your besties. Let me explain…
Stress has our backs – the ultimate protector. Stress will let us know when danger is about…even though it might over-exaggerate or alert us to things we don’t need to be worried by. The stress response (fight, flight, freeze) will urge us to take action to protect ourselves against danger and effectively arm our body to be able to do so. This could be by running away, running towards the ‘danger’ to fight it off or by staying stock still until the danger has passed.
Stress can be the ultimate personal trainer and motivator when our relationship with it is going well – getting us out of bed quickly when we realise we’ve overlaid, making us move faster than we normally would to make up the time. It helps us to achieve our deadlines and life goals, perform well at work, get to where we need to be and keep those plates spinning.
Stress is honest. Whether the threat is real or not, stress will always tell us that we need to do something different or take action to feel calmer. This could be by utilising some positive self talk, moving rooms, going from inside to outside or vice versa or focussing on the breath to calm the body (I always recommend breathing deeply and making the out-breath slightly longer to break off shallow breathing).
Stress is loyal. Stress will never leave or abandon us – even if we might want it to.
Stress can be fun. Pushing us to take a peek outside of our comfort zone now and then. Trying new things and experiencing what life has to offer.
So, the above things are pretty good right?! Isn’t it about time we banish the cartoon like images of people with hair standing on end and hands raised, fingers splayed as if to frame a frazzled expression? I see self help articles (some of which have amazing advice by the way) compounding the stigma of the word stress and what it conjures up. Titles like “Banish Your Stress” “Rid Your Stress…Forever” “No More Stress” just aren’t realistic. Can you imagine a life without stress? No, nor could I. We’d probably all be dead.
Stress is a biological response to overwhelm or danger – when demand exceeds our ability to cope. It’s not all in our heads – far from it. So many of us are not in tune with how stress feels in our bodies. How frustrating it must be for poor old stress to not be noticed and ignored time and time again. We treat stress like the annoying, clingy person in the class, trying to pretend we haven’t noticed them, deliberately talking over them, rejecting them, trying to walk away and avoid.
I wonder if we did the exact opposite and showed stress some compassion..if we listened to it…if we noticed it, then our wellbeing would benefit immeasurably. To understand how our bodies react to stress, taking positive action and boosting self awareness is the best way to not succumb to the effects of negative stress hormones such as cortisol.
Cortisol has the power to weaken the immune system, play havoc with our metabolism, create blood pressure issues, cause headaches, fatigue, cognitive impairment and low mood as well as many other symptoms. If no action is taken to ease these symptoms and reactions, then there is a likelihood of developing illnesses affecting our general health.
Top Tip: Becoming good friends with stress surely seems like the better option. One way to do this is by boosting your awareness of how stress affects you. Think of a time you last felt the effects of stress, overwhelmed by a situation or a build up of events. It probably wasn’t that long ago. Now try to recall the following:
- What kind of thoughts were you having at the time and were they helpful?
- What emotions/feelings did you have?
- How did stress impact on your behaviour and communication with others?
- Can you remember how you felt physically? Any bodily reactions?
Note: This is an exercise to increase awareness and just notice, without judgement, how you reacted to increased pressure and demand. As awareness grows then your opportunities for doing something different and capturing the early signs of stress increase.
The key to making friends in life is spending time to get to know a person. Being kind, non-judgemental, interested and a good listener. All the things that we need to also build a really good relationship with ourselves, including how we nurture our health.
Investing in getting to know your stress and how it impacts on you is one way to really focus on developing positive coping strategies (a whole other blog!) that you can call on when you need them the most…sometimes it is the smallest tweaks and changes that help in massive ways. For example, building in time at least once per day to STOP and reflect. Checking in with yourself as to how you feel in your body and letting go of tension – dropping your shoulders and letting any tenseness ebb away.
So, how about it? I reckon there is room for another friend..?